3 popular humorists write a Haggadah for the ‘when do we eat?’ crowd

By Andrew Silow-Carroll

(JTA) – Of Passover Haggadahs there are no end.

If the Maxwell House version doesn’t cut it for you, there are Haggadahs for vegans, for children, for chocolate lovers and even for Christians. There’s the “Santa Cruz Haggadah” for hippies and the “New American Haggadah” for hipsters. There are annotated Haggadahs for those who want to extend the seder into the wee hours, and the “30 Minute Seder Haggada” for those who want to eat, pray and bolt.

Now three well-known American humorists have written a Haggadah for an overlooked crowd: the wiseguys, cutups and punsters who frankly have a hard time taking the whole thing seriously.

For This We Left Egypt? A Passover Haggadah for Jews and Those Who Love Them (Flatiron Books) is a collaboration of Dave Barry, whose syndicated Miami Herald humor column ran for over 20 years; Alan Zweibel, an original “Saturday Night Live” writer and co-creator of “It’s Garry Shandling’s Show”; and Adam Mansbach, the novelist who had a sleeper hit with his faux children’s book, Go the F*** to Sleep.

For This We Left Egypt? (henceforth known as FTWLE) is the sort of book that includes Jerry Lewis as one of the Ten Plagues, that wonders why slaves escaping Egypt would run directly toward a body of water, and that suggests Jews are told to eat the bitter herbs known as maror “to remind ourselves that we never, ever again as a people, want to be in a position where we have to eat freaking maror.”

For all the jokes, however (and it is pretty much all jokes), the book follows the basic steps of an actual seder and includes some prayers in their original Hebrew. If you were to discard the jokes, you’d be left with a fairly faithful framework of an actual Haggadah, albeit six pages long.

Barry had previously collaborated with Zweibel on the 2012 novel Lunatics. Mansbach and Zweibel wrote the 2015 kids’ book Benjamin Franklin: Huge Pain in My …. The three met up a few years ago at the Miami Book Fair and, at Mansbach’s suggestion, started an email chain that ended up as FTWLE.

Zweibel, who grew up as a member of Congregation Sons of Israel in Woodmere, New York, had previously assured himself a place in Jewish Humor Heaven when he suggested to fellow SNL writers Al Franken and Tom Davis the idea for the “Royal Deluxe II” commercial parody. In that 1977 skit, a rabbi tests a smooth-riding luxury car by circumcising a baby in the back seat. Mansbach described his own 2009 novel The End of the Jews as a book about the “complexities of a Jewish identity – the fact that you can feel culturally Jewish without being religious, or understand yourself ethnically as Jewish but not be down with the dominant politics of Jewish life, and so on.”

Which might seem to leave Barry, the son of a Presbyterian minister, as the odd man out in this trio, except that he and his Jewish wife belong to a Reform temple in Miami and he served as sandek – honorary baby holder – at his grandson’s brit milah.

Barry recalled the family seders where his father-in-law and family patriarch, a Cuban Jewish immigrant named Harry Kaufman, liked to recite the complete Haggadah in at least three languages. The other guests tried to trick Harry into “skipping huge chunks of it and then pretend he fell asleep.”

Looking back on those marathons, Barry said, “No wonder this religion is in trouble.”

In recent years, there’s been a slew of Haggadahs meant to enliven the typical seder, with discussion questions for the adults and games to engage the kids. Those efforts come in for ribbing in the FTWLE as well. Following the section on the Four Sons, one of a series of “discussion questions” asks, “Vito ‘The G-dfather’ Corleone had four children: Sonny, Fredo, Michael, and Connie. At Corleone family Seders, who do you think asked each of the four questions, and why?”

(Yes, FTWLE follows traditional Jewish practice by spelling the Almighty’s name as “G-d,” as in “Then G-d spoke from inside the cloud. At least he said he was G-d; there was no way to tell for sure because of the cloud.”)

I’m a product of the “seders don’t have to be boring” generation, and at our table keep a stack of modern commentaries and supplements on hand to keep the evening lively. This year I’ll add FTWLE for the times when things begin to flag. And I’ll toss out questions from it like this one: “How come the Angel of Death needed lamb’s blood to know which houses the Israelites lived in? You’d think that would be the kind of thing the Angel of Death would just know, right?”

For a parody Haggadah, that’s a seriously good question.

10 easy tips to avoid a boring seder

By Rebecca Rosenthal

(Kveller via JTA) – If your Passover seder is anything like mine, it can resemble the world’s most difficult classroom: different ages, ranging from 3 to 93, and varying levels of interest. Some want to read and discuss every word in the Haggadah, some just want to get to the food – and everything in between. But there is magic in the seder. Having loved ones around a table together can feel like a luxury in this day and age, so here are some tips for making the most of the festive meal.

1. Put out some food earlier. It can feel like a long time until you get to dinner, but after karpas (the green vegetable that comes right at the beginning), you can serve appetizers. Veggies and dip or fruit are good healthy options, but my family also puts out candy, which keeps the kids busy for a little while.

2. Play with your food. Find fun ways to incorporate food into the heart of the seder. One friend of ours attaches the parsley to mini fishing rods and uses them to dip the parsley in the salt water. Another friend chops up lots of fruits and nuts (and even some chocolate) and allows the guests to make their own charoset, as long as it resembles the mortar. When it comes time to remember the plague of hail, I have heard of families throwing mini marshmallows at one another. Finally, there is a Persian custom of lightly (or not so lightly) slapping your neighbor with scallions during the song “Dayenu” as a reminder of slavery.

3. Use the table. Put something interesting on the table, either in the middle or at each individual plate. We have used different kinds of frogs, puppets and masks. Perhaps it will inspire a guest to ask a question about Passover, the story or the traditions of your family. At the very least it will entertain those at the table when they need a break.

4. Don’t be a slave to the Haggadah. The Haggadah is meant as a guide. You don’t have to read every word to fulfill your obligation to tell the story. Get many different Haggadahs and look for readings and retellings that speak to you and share those at the seder. Or get the kids to write a play about the Passover story and perform it. Or ask your guests to bring something that represents freedom and tell the story of why. Engage your guests in the story of slavery to freedom.

5. Move around. This is the story of a wandering people. If you have the space, then wander! Do one piece of the seder in the living room, one in the dining room, or even go outside if the weather is nice. Turn a few bed sheets into the sea and walk through it on your way to the Promised Land. Give your guests a chance to be in the story, not just talk about it.

6. Assign homework. People always do better if they are prepared, so ask your guests to participate in the seder. Send a question in advance, ask them to bring something or even make decorations for the seder table.

7. Give everyone a job. Before the seder, make a list of everything that has to be done during the evening, from pouring the wine to serving the soup to clearing the table. Then, assign away. You guests will be happy to help, and you will be happier if you come out of the seder not feeling enslaved.

8. Sing. There are tons of songs for kids and adults alike for Passover. Google around to find tunes or songs that you like and teach them at your seder. Providing song sheets helps everyone sing along.

9. Make something. My mother still brings out Elijah’s cups that my sisters and I made in Hebrew school, and my kids proudly show off their seder plates, kiddush cups and matzah covers. If your kids don’t make them in school, these are easy crafts to make at home.

10. Let loose. The point of the seder is to engage people in the questions, both ancient and contemporary, of slavery and freedom. Try to find a balance between preparing for the seder and obsessing about every detail. And if your kids run screaming circles around the table while everyone else is trying to talk, as mine have done on more than one occasion, those are memories, too. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

Rabbi Rebecca Rosenthal is director of youth and family education at Central Synagogue in New York City, where she lives with her husband and three children.

On the market

By Marla Cohen

Looking for some fun stuff to incorporate into your seder? Marla Cohen, manager of The Judaica Store located at Bishop’s Corner in West Hartford, offers these suggestions:

Decorate your table with “plagues.” There are plenty of fun frogs to choose from: squishy frogs, flipping frogs, and frogs that jump, Tic, Tac, Toad, and even the Family and Frog Haggadah (Behrman House) illustrated with green frogs hopping in and out of the narrative. Aside from frogs, there are also bugs, wild beasts and plague finger puppets.

Get cooking. This year’s new crop of cookbooks include gorgeous offerings from Art Scroll/Mesorah aptly entitled, Perfect for Pesach and a Taste of Pesach; and Matza, a small cookbook shaped like a piece of matzah from the famous Streit’s matzah family.

For the kids. New this year to entertain the youngest seder-goers are a new circular placemat that rotates to ask and answer the four questions, and games like PassOfour (Connect 4) and a wooden Passover playset. New children’s books this season include Passover Scavenger Hunt, Sammy Spider’s Passover Shapes and A Different Kind of Passover.

The gift of giving. For those in the market for a hostess gift, there are many colorful new items like a glass drying mat with matching apron, pot holders, towels or a kugel server specifically for Passover. Plus, many beautiful items for “hidur mitzvah” – beautification of the mitzvah – by a host of talented Israeli artists.

Music sets the mood. The renowned Cantor Paul Zim has re-released his Passover-Sing-Along and David and the High Spirits has a newly revised Real Complete Passover Seder.