By Jack H. Bloom

Being chosen is virtually always about relationship. Chosenness does not mean superiority or aggrandizement. That ultimately will not work. Never has, never will!

When God chooses us and we choose God, it is the ensuing relationship that creates something to be treasured, enjoyed and protected.

Relationship is special! As all of us know viscerally that a good relationship is a source of delight.

This is similar to a couple, where two individuals create from X and Y a We. What is the complement of chosenness?

We also make a crucial mistake when we assume that God is limited and can only choose one. That is an anthropomorphic idea that borders on idolatry.

Chosenness can lead to dominance, contempt for others, and violence.

Feeling unchosen can lead to submission, anger, isolation and loneliness and the risk of low self-esteem.

When God chooses us, it is our response and the ensuing interactions that create a special relationship that at its best is a Buberian I-You (you is the correct translation of the German “du”) relationship.

Relationship is a new creation that has great potential for changing how we live in the world.

It is not that Israel chooses God and is therefore elect, nor that God chooses Israel and therefore we are superior, etc. It is that whatever happens does so in the relationship.

This may well be the cultural stream in which we swim. This does not preclude “others” also being chosen.  They are not superior or inferior to us. So we can say “asher bachar banu, v’ notayn…” etc.

Our reading of the Torah completes the circle, and affirms the God-Israel relationship.

After “sh’notan lanu torat emet”, in which we affirm the gift we have received, and then recite “v’ haye olam”, in the faith that, as God is eternal so will we be, if we remain responsively and loyally in the relationship.

There is no problem being the Chosen People as long as we are also the Choosing People, If We Are In an I-You Relationship With God!

“Chosenness” is not one-sided, and confers no special benefit. “Chosenness” evolves in, and is a product of relationship. It is an outcome of choosing and being chosen.

Ingrid (my “”yekkeh rebbetzin” – light of my life) is my chosen one who lets me know in so many ways that I am hers. That I am in love with one person does not imply a diminution of anyone else.

Our “chosenness” relationship brings special obligations and responsibilities, (N.B. the word response) committing each and both of us who have “voluntarily” chosen, to make each other their chosen one, special and unique in our lives. We are duty bound to acknowledge and honor by how we conduct ourselves in relationship to bring special care, love and concern to our behavior. In relation to each other, we are each of us special or we might even dare say, “selected.”

This does not mean that my “Ex” or Ingrid’s “Ex” is inherently less equal, or in any way inferior. Nor conversely, does our enjoying our relationship more than we did our former “chosen” ones imply in any way that we are intrinsically better than they or any others.

If we pay any attention at all, we know that humans are different in different relationships. And it is the relationship that makes the difference, not how one or the other of the partners “really are!”

As I have written elsewhere (Reform Judaism – Fall 2007) “change comes out of relationship. And relationship is a sometimes thing.”

So Chosen People comes out of our God relationship. Relationship is at least two ways. One way of thinking of Mitzvah is of its phonic similarity to “Tzevet” and of the obligations we undertake as a result of our God-Relationship to both our God-partner and the world in which both God and we live. And to making that world a better place to spend one’s life. That special relationship pervades our Jewish experience!

Superiority or aggrandizement ultimately will not work!

Never Has, Never Will.

Rabbi Jack Bloom was the founding rabbi of Congregation Beth El in Fairfield. He is the author of several books, including “The Rabbi as Symbolic Exemplar” and the book of poems, “Blessings For You From Head to Toe”. He lives in Fairfield.

Readers are invited to submit original work on a topic of their choosing to Kolot. Submissions should be sent to judiej@jewishledger.com.