By Cindy Mindell

WESTPORT – When a rabbi’s tenure is up, the congregation bidding adieu usually holds a special send-off celebration or presents a thank-you gift.

Rabbi Yossi Pollak

But before Rabbi Yossi Pollak left the modern Orthodox Beit Chaverim Synagogue of Westport/Norwalk last month, he made sure to do one final thing for his congregation: He threw a “Post-nup Party.”

The use of a halachic post-nuptial agreement follows on the heels of the new halachic pre-nuptial contract, whose significance was voted on last year by the International Rabbinic Fellowship (IRF), an organization made up of Orthodox spiritual leaders. A member of IRF, Pollak has long been a proponent of the pre-nup, and, during his tenure at Beit Chaverim, he worked hard to educate his congregation about it. But he also wanted to help those who had not known about or signed a pre-nup when they married.

“There is a challenging piece of Jewish law, that hopefully will not affect any of us, but unfortunately has affected members of our congregation in the past,” Pollak explains. “That law is the get, the [halachic] bill of divorce required to be given by a husband to a wife in the case of a divorce.”

There are many instances throughout Jewish history – and even today — of a woman being left an agunah: a wife who is “chained” to her husband because he has not granted her a get so that she can move on with her life. In this case, the husband is referred to as mesarev get, one who is refusing to give a get. “Unfortunately, there are many people, mostly men, in the Jewish world who have taken advantage of this law to extort their wives for money or child custody,” says Pollak, who took the opportunity presented by his impending departure to host a celebration, at which he encouraged congregants to sign the halachic post-nup.

Last year, the IRF membership voted to require its members to only officiate at weddings where a halachic prenuptial agreement is used, and to sign halachic prenuptial agreements at their own weddings. At its recent annual conference,

it was decided that IRF members married prior to the resolution, who had not signed such an agreement, be required to sign a halachic post-nuptial agreement, as a way of setting an example for their congregants. These agreements allow a civil suit against a recalcitrant spouse who refuses to give a get and imposes a financial penalty on the spouse who is refusing to appear.

“This is a way to protect your spouse,” Pollak says. “I believe that anybody who is really committed to their spouse at the time of their wedding should be willing and happy to sign this. The hope is that you’ll never get divorced, but if you do, the goal is not to have a fight but to split in the way with the least pain possible.”

According to Pollak, the Rabbinical Council of America, an Orthodox alliance, reports that the pre-nup has been effective every time it has been signed. While the RCA has not required its members to use the contract when officiating at weddings, it strongly recommends that its members do so.

The pre-nup includes an optional section that empowers the Beit Din of America, a rabbinical court, to adjudicate financial and custody disputes between the husband and wife. The critical part of the agreement, Pollak says, is that it requires that the get be given, and not used as a bargaining chip between the two divorcing parties.

“Many people wonder why, at the moment of getting married, we would ask them to sign an agreement that is about a potential divorce, which of course nobody intends to do when they first get married,” Pollak says. “Unfortunately, the reality is that almost half of couples who marry do get divorced, and many people sign financial prenuptial agreements without the same reservations. More importantly, as I tell couples whose weddings I am officiating, if you truly love your spouse, then you would want to protect them under any circumstances. It is a powerful declaration of love and faith in a relationship to make this agreement, which could have an effect on your own life and property, at the outset of your marriage.”

Last month, the NYU Tikvah Center for Law & Jewish Civilization, together with the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance (JOFA), hosted an international conference on a resolution to the agunah problem. Speakers included American and Israeli luminaries, among them, Minister of Justice Tzipi Livni and Prof. Alan Dershowitz, as well as prominent rabbinic leaders, scholars, and agunah activists across the denominational spectrum. Participants discussed the systemic solutions within Jewish law that can resolve current agunah cases and prevent future ones, and explored how the Jewish community worldwide can commit to their broader application.

Closer to home, Norwalk Hospital was the site of a July 9 protest, spearheaded by the Organization for the Resolution of Agunot (ORA), against employee Ephraim Ohana, who has refused to grant his wife a get for the past 10 years.

For more information on the halachic pre-nup and post-nup: theprenup.org

Comments? email cindym@jewishledger.com.